Flowers (& Thorns)

This week has been (literally) full of so many flowers (and a few thorns), which I think is just a metaphor for life. Beautiful when you zoom out, sometimes full of cold, prickly bits up close. 

Flowers of the week: I turned 37 yesterday and felt so much love. This year will be a marker for me. There's going to be my life "before cancer" and my life "in remission." Thankful for every single phone call, gift, drop-off on my porch, treat, flower, hug, card, meal, message, hang out, hour with my kids, thought or prayer. And not just thankful in the passive way, but like truly, deeply, and profoundly grateful. I hope I get to thank you notes, but my brain right now is processing slowly so if you don't receive one, please know the intention was there and the gratitude still remains. 

More Flowers: I also started pottery this week after a three year hiatus (birthday gift from Josh). It was amazing and I remembered how to throw a bowl. Great second appointment with my breast surgeon today. Not a lot of new information. I asked about chances of chemo and radition. No radiation if my pathology still looks good post-op since my tumor is so small (1.8 cm). Chemo is a toss up and we need all the new pathology from surgery back before anyone will even tell me the likelihood. While numbers on pathology look okay-ish so far, my age is against me. Having cancer younger means it can be more aggressive. I will have hormone therapy for years because of my type of cancer, which feeds off of mainly estrogen. My breast surgeon follows me for three years, which I take comfort in. Tomorrow I meet with a plastic surgeon to talk about reconstruction options. 

Thorns: I still have cancer and while I don't mind people knowing (hello, Blog), it still feels so weird saying "I have cancer" out loud. And I found out tonight that the school I work in as a teacher-librarian is closing after June. I won't really find out what that means until May, when I find out what my treatment plan looks like. I'm a planner so this waiting is SO. HARD. 

Thanks for hanging in this wild ride with me!

Xx

Top photo: Our son carrying around a plant at a nursery today 🌼

Bottom photo: All my flowers from just this week!